Sunday, December 09, 2007
Hams Back
Hams Back!
Have you been away? Is probably your retort to my two word opening. No, I haven't. I am in fact referring to my spine.
'What about it' you enquire with feigned interest
It's gubbed! I say gubbed when of course I mean fucking agony. Every time I sit down a small dwarf sneaks up behind me and starts inserting needles into the small of my back. By the time I've stood up the wee bastard is gone! To be fair standing up is such a gradual process, it might not be a dwarf; that's only a guess seeing as a tortoise could have legged it in the time it takes me to get erect ......... hmmm I could have phrased that slightly better
One the plus side once I'm up; I'm fine! ...... again more thought could have gone into that sentence. What I'm trying to say is movement is good, mobility is my friend, walking eases my aching back and I almost forget about it - until I sit down again. If I remain sedentary for more than a couple of minutes then the dwarf returns.
Anyhoo it does mean that I'm not overly keen on sitting in front of my laptop for four hours tonight to write more 'truths' for you. I'd like to, really I would. But instead I will be walking around my house guzzling ibuprofen, paracetamol, crack, smack, windolene, fecking ANYTHING that might take the nippiness out of my vertebrae.
Tried Ice - Didn't work
Tried heat - Didn't work
Tried Heat, then Ice - Pissed masel and it still didnt work
So you will have to excuse me yet again while I go for another wee stroll to change my underwear. I do apologise for the dreadful service but it is due to circumstances outwith my control. And if you dont like it feel free to kiss my hairy fucking arse you prissy c-
Sorry sorry sorry - I am prone to slight 'tetchiness' at the moment, I think it might be the drain cleaner I had earlier.
Fondest Regards
Ham
Have you been away? Is probably your retort to my two word opening. No, I haven't. I am in fact referring to my spine.
'What about it' you enquire with feigned interest
It's gubbed! I say gubbed when of course I mean fucking agony. Every time I sit down a small dwarf sneaks up behind me and starts inserting needles into the small of my back. By the time I've stood up the wee bastard is gone! To be fair standing up is such a gradual process, it might not be a dwarf; that's only a guess seeing as a tortoise could have legged it in the time it takes me to get erect ......... hmmm I could have phrased that slightly better
One the plus side once I'm up; I'm fine! ...... again more thought could have gone into that sentence. What I'm trying to say is movement is good, mobility is my friend, walking eases my aching back and I almost forget about it - until I sit down again. If I remain sedentary for more than a couple of minutes then the dwarf returns.
Anyhoo it does mean that I'm not overly keen on sitting in front of my laptop for four hours tonight to write more 'truths' for you. I'd like to, really I would. But instead I will be walking around my house guzzling ibuprofen, paracetamol, crack, smack, windolene, fecking ANYTHING that might take the nippiness out of my vertebrae.
Tried Ice - Didn't work
Tried heat - Didn't work
Tried Heat, then Ice - Pissed masel and it still didnt work
So you will have to excuse me yet again while I go for another wee stroll to change my underwear. I do apologise for the dreadful service but it is due to circumstances outwith my control. And if you dont like it feel free to kiss my hairy fucking arse you prissy c-
Sorry sorry sorry - I am prone to slight 'tetchiness' at the moment, I think it might be the drain cleaner I had earlier.
Fondest Regards
Ham
