Hamish McShanks

‘My neighbours are cretins’ is going to be the title of my new blog. I’ve unashamedly pinched the format of the title from a fellow blogger ‘My neighbours are hoors’ a very good blog you should look up btw (http://myneighboursarehoors.blogspot.com/)

To be fair my neighbours on either side are very nice but the dick brain that lives across the other side of the road is indeed a tool of the highest order. It’s now after ten pm at night and he’s cleaning his car in the driveway. He has both front doors of his motor open and the stereo is blaring out music at about 100 decibels. I’m not sure what genre of music as his speakers don’t seem to be able to cope with the power from his amplifier. He must have the cleanest car in the street though as he’s been at it for nearly an hour. I’ve really been enjoying it, even though my windows are all now closed on this balmy hot night and I’m steaming like a fucking clam I can still hear him, which is nice.

I can’t quite work out whether he’s drunk, deaf or just care in the community? Clearly when you’re hoovering the car; a quiet pastime in itself and definitely one for the twilight hours, you will struggle to hear the stereo so naturally you’d turn it up.

I’m just looking out some flaming torches and a couple of pitchforks before I round up some of the other neighbours and we pop across for a ‘quiet word’ with the imbecile. There’s nothing quite like a pointed farm implement to carry the argument I find. Failing that I might douse his motor in a gallon of unleaded and turn it into a genuinely hot hatch; which the go faster stripes and furry dice have so far failed to achieve.

Sadly this means I won’t have time to finish this week’s diary as I don’t believe they have installed wireless broadband in the custody suite in Stirling yet

Kindest Regards

Ham

# posted by Ham Shanks @ 10:14 pm