Hamish McShanks

I'd like to apologise for the lack of diary once again. I've been up tae ma mince pies in work and my creative juices have run dry (were they ever moist I hear you mumble)

All I can say is 'I tried' ....... but ....... Ah cannay take it nae mair! Ah just cannay .........uhuu huuu huu huuuu ... I tried, I really really tried but I j.j.j.uuust cant take anymore uhuuu huuu huuuu (I'm banging my head on the table now)

Why are you making me feel so bad? (imagine my pleading red rimmed eyes looking at you as I grovel at your feet) .... it's not lll.l.l.ike I.I.I wwww.w.anted to let you d.d.d.own (I'm breathing erratically now, like I'm having an asthma attack)

Uhuuuu huuu huuuuu (now I'm slapping my head with my free hand as I bubble uncontrollably) Uhuuuu huuuu huuuuuu ..... to fade

Now I know 'you' didnt fall for any of that old sop but the question is 'will my boss?' when I break the bad news about my lack of work progress?

I realise this might be an extreme reaction, but hey, if it's faking a nervous breakdown and having the whole office stare at you in jaw dropping disbelief OR own up and get a bad annual review then bring on the straight jacket everytime!

A miraculous recovery just before I'm actually sectioned and Robert will indeed be your mothers brother!

Aye ok I'll just gerrit done .... ye might get a diary this week, only time will tell

Sorry Folks