Sunday, January 23, 2005

 

Hamish McShanks Management Takeover

Hamish McShanks PLC has been the subject of a management takeover. The new board are pleased to announce a raft of innovative changes in customer services. For a kick off we now have some!

Due to Mr McShanks constant inability to meet his Monday deadline the board have implemented stringent performance enhancement measures and moved it to Tuesday. These radical policy changes will ensure immediate inprovements and reap dividends over the short to medium term. It also means that we meet our KPI's for this year collect a wopping great bonus and continue bathing in champagne whilst been waited hand and foot by scantily clad women of negotiable affection.

These performance enhancements take immediate effect and therefore there is no diary today.

HMC Plc looks forward to continuing a strong customer focused relationship and values your business .... ya de ya ya

Kind regards




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