Hamish McShanks

20:45hrs : Weather closing in, rations low. Have run out of fuel for the stove and it’s only a matter of time before it peters out and I freeze to death. My brother left a while ago saying ‘I going out I may be some time’ I did start to weep thinking it was indeed a noble gesture ….. till I saw the roll of andrex wedged under his right arm. It’s been half an hour and this isn’t the sort of weather to linger in so I have to assume he’s now iced up in a squatting position with his left hand frozen to his backside for all time.

20:55hrs : Still no sign of my brother and the stove is out, goodbye cruel world, I’d say it’s been nice but it hasn’t. I mean I never won the lottery, I never sullied any virgins (I did try) I never tap-danced the fandango and I never saw an episode of ‘Some Mothers do have them’ all the way through (for that I am grateful) If there’s one thing I’ve learnt …….. eeer ………. It’s not to start a sentence you cant fini…..

ps of course there’s no diary! …… I’m dying here! …… ok that ‘may’ have more to do with three bottles of Merlot than any weather phenomena but how would ‘sorry no diary I was rubbered last night’ be any better? Hmmmm? Weeeeeeeeeel?

pps sorry no diary I was rubbered last night …… see!

# posted by Ham Shanks @ 9:10 pm